Guest Post - My Sister Remembers - Part Seven

When I look back I can understand why my mum and dad were worried about me wanting to get married. There was a six-year age gap between Bob and I, and I had never had any other serious relationships. I still had to be home by 9pm (unless there was a dance) and Bob always made sure I was. We wanted to get married when I was seventeen, but mum and dad would not hear of it. We got engaged anyway on a day trip to Windsor, and we went to Aldershot where he bought me a lovely Sapphire ring. That caused a real upset as my friend, Violet, told my parents before I had a chance to talk to them. My dad was furious and said I could not get married until I was nineteen, he did not believe we would still be together then.

Bob in 1961

Bob’s family always made me welcome. We often visited Mike (Bob’s brother) his wife Pat and their daughter Marian in Alton. Bob was Marian's Godfather, and he thought an awful lot of her. They lived in a bungalow with all mod cons. There was no bathroom in Bob’s parent’s house, and so he visited Pat and Mike once a week to have a bath. After we got married, we had no bathroom either so the regular trips to Alton went on.   

We proved dad wrong and on the 3rd June 1961 Bob and I were married at Long Sutton Church. Mum persuaded me to buy a second-hand dress for the wedding, which I always regretted, but everyone said it looked nice, and it did save money. It had a high neck and was embossed net over satin with a full skirt. I managed to upset one of Bob’s Aunties by not asking her to make my wedding dress. None of the family thought to tell me it was the tradition which was a shame because I could have had a dress in the style I really wanted. She was the only invited guest who failed to turn up at our wedding.

I was up bright and early on the morning of the wedding.  Mrs. Matheson offered me flowers from the garden at Well Manor to decorate the church. It was a perfect day with not a cloud in the sky and my arms were soon full of roses, delphiniums, Ladies Mantle and lots of greenery. I cycled to Long Sutton and arranged the flowers all around the church which took much longer than expected. When I got home mum was in a panic as I had only half an hour to get ready. My hair had been washed and set in Odiham on the previous day so, pin in the kiss curl, a quick wash and into my dress, face powder, lipstick, brush out pin curl, clip on veil and ready.

Left to Right - Jack Wood, Hartie Wood, Mike Wood, Marian, Bob, Sue, Barbara Flitney, Rene Flitney, Denis Flitney

My bouquet turned up just in time and the bridesmaids, Barbara and Bob’s Goddaughter Marian, both wore pretty dresses and carried baskets of flowers in pastel colours. I can’t remember, but I expect dad had to go to Alton to pick Marian up. I know she, and my sister got on really well and Barbara was very good and looked after Marian all day. (Actually Sue I think Marian looked after me – she was much younger but also far more sensible!) Dad and one of the uncles dressed their cars with white ribbon and off we all went to the church. Mum wore a lovely blue/grey pleated dress, which really suited her, so much so that she was buried in the same dress several years later. Mike was Bob’s best man and managed to get him to the church on time. The rest of the family from Alton hired a coach to get to the church, which was the easiest solution as few people had cars in those days, and public transport was hopeless.

As I walked into the church on dad’s arm the organist (not the usual one) played “Fight the Good Fight” which as you might imagine caused quite a laugh. The Rural Dean, the Rev Knapp who was the vicar at East Worldham took the ceremony along with the Vicar of Long Sutton. We had the full choir and the bell ringers. After the ceremony, photographs were taken outside the church, it was still a lovely sunny day, and half the village turned out to watch. Our reception was held in Long Sutton Village Hall. Friends and neighbours helped prepare the food the evening before, and it was while setting it all up that Bob caused a stir by turning up. “Its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding” was the cry that went around the hall, but I wasn't worried as I felt sure that only counted on the actual wedding day.

Left to Right - Hartie Wood (mother of the groom) , Rene Flitney (mother of the bride), Cousin John Flitney, Bob, Sue and Bob's Aunt Olive.
The little lad in front is Colin Smith (son of Aunt Jean & Uncle Graham)

The reception was not like wedding receptions of today with all the expense they incur and we managed to do it all very cheaply. The glasses and drink came from the local pub on the understanding that anything unused could be returned for a refund. Bentley Stores delivered lots of cakes, and we made egg, ham (best ham!) and corned beef sandwiches. We put out tables, covered with mum’s pretty embroidered tablecloths, plates of sandwiches and cakes on each table and everyone had these with either an alcoholic drink or a cup of tea.

The wedding cake was a wedding present from mum and dad, but we paid for everything else ourselves. Unfortunately, the cake was so hard it proved impossible to cut, the best we could do was pose for photographs with the uncut cake. Later mum and dad managed to hack some slices out of it to pass around to the guests.  My granddad got very drunk and decided to walk off with half the presents, but very quickly got stopped in his tracks and told to put them back. He could not understand that we might need ten tea towels! My Godmother, Rebecca West, was out of the country but she sent us a cheque for £50.00 – a lot of money in those days.

Visiting Wimble Hill Hospital, Uncle Bill (Bill Harding brother of Rene Harding nee Flitney) acting as chauffeur.

After the wedding we visited Wimble Hill hospital and I gave the oldest patient my bouquet – beautiful yellow roses and Gypsophila. Our friends Brian and Sue drove us down to Bracklesham Bay for our honeymoon, and the reality of married life started to hit home. Bob’s mum enjoyed spoiling him, and after he left the Fleet Air Arm she did all his ironing and generally looked after him. It didn't go down too well when on the second day of our honeymoon, I was required to iron a shirt using a flat iron (I had only ever used an electric one) add to that the fact I wanted to go for a walk but Bob wanted to go to the Club House to watch cricket. I decided to go for a walk on my own but struck up a friendship with a lovely Red Setter and he and I spent many hours walking together while Bob watched sport. Mind you as the years went by Bob would certainly change and always wanted to celebrate Valentines Day and any anniversary. Even when we were really hard up he would buy me a little trinket or a plant for the garden….

Sue and friend

Memories of Susan Poulter nee Flitney; Sue is my older sister (although she looks younger!)

/To be continued

Previous instalments here, here, here, here, here and here

Guest Post – My Sister Remembers – Part Six

As previously mentioned (here) apple picking season was the highlight of the year at Well Manor Farm, but cricket season came a close second.  Not that I liked cricket, but it was a good place to meet boys, especially when the lads from Lord Wandsworth College were playing. I met a lovely looking lad called Dai at one of the matches. We really liked each other, but as soon as his parents heard we were “walking out together" it came to a very abrupt halt with a letter from him telling me I was unsuitable.  Considering we had only known each other for about a month and had not even held hands, I felt that was a bit harsh!

Another of my school friends had a brother, Colin. He and I started “courting” and it wasn't long before he was visiting me at home once or twice a week. Colin loved playing cards and as this was my mum and dad's favourite leisure pursuit they all got on very well. He would arrive, play cards, eat supper and go home – just what a girl needed. Mum and Dad thought he was the bee's knees and within a very short time were thinking of getting us married off. I felt sure life must have more to offer and tried to let him down gently, but he would not go away. Violet (my friend from next door) and I spent some time plotting about how we could get rid of him. When he next arrived, we ambushed him (I am not proud of what happened next) and covered him in lipstick – all over his face and all over his clean white shirt. The poor lad was really upset about having to go home in that state, but it put an end to his visits. Mum and dad were curious to know what had happened so I told them he was fed up with playing cards!

Sue and Colin

Luckily, Colin's sister remained friends with me, and I started to go to the youth club in Long Sutton and to the Old-Time dance club with her, and her friend Margaret. Margaret’s boyfriend brought another lad with him one week. His name was Robin (known as Bob) Wood. Bob was six years older than me and had just come out of The Fleet Air Arm and was very handsome.    I really liked him, but I think he just saw me as a young girl. One night while we were at the dance club I tried to impress him with my flirtatious chat, but he sternly told me to “Shush” as he was trying to listen to the dance teacher – very firmly put in my place! Margaret and friends asked me to go to the Easter Dance with them in 1958, a couple of months before my sixteenth birthday, it was being held at the Drill Hall in Alton (the hall is no loner there). I cycled to Long Sutton, left my bicycle at my friend's house and carried on to Alton with them in Margaret's boyfriends car.  Bob was there when we arrived with a very smart young lady. I wore my mum’s one and only evening dress, which was years old but fitted me like a dream. It was short, black with a little stiff narrow belt and shot through with gold lurex. Halfway through the evening while on the way back to my chair I slipped and in an effort to save myself grabbed the back of  Bob's  lady friends chair, which resulted in her ending up on the floor, she was not amused, in fact, she was furious. Maybe it was just the nudge Bob needed because he asked me to dance and by the end of the evening we were getting on famously. Margaret's boyfriend offered me a lift home, so it was decided I would leave my bike at Long Sutton and collect it the next day.  In those days the rules were that I had to be in by 9pm, but on this occasion I had permission to be home at 10pm, but it was nearer eleven when we arrived. Dad heard the car pull up saw men in it and came out with his shotgun!!! (I laughed at this bit Sue – I can remember many occasions when dad greeted my boyfriends with a shotgun – it certainly sorted the men from the boys!)

Sue c1957

Dad had calmed down by the next morning and suggested I ask Bob home to tea on the Sunday. He was quite brave and came to tea, (best ham sandwiches and trifle as I remember). I then started going to East Worldham some Sundays to have tea with his family. His Dad, Jack Wood, had been the local blacksmith but was retired due to ill health. His mum, Hartie, worked part-time at the village school, she belonged to the Women’s Institute and was a staunch member of the congregation at St. Mary’s Church. It wasn’t long before Bob and I were meeting up each weekend and on Wednesday evenings. We spent many summer evenings just walking and talking. Later, Bob bought a motorbike, and we started going further from home. We often went into Basingstoke to the pictures and then to a café for poached eggs on toast and coffee, which I hated but as everyone else was drinking it I thought I was very grown up doing the same. At weekends in the summer we would go to Southsea or Hayling Island and delight in passing the queues of cars waiting to cross the bridge on to the Island. We also visited Bobs Aunt Olive and Uncle Bill in Fareham and loved listening to all Uncle Bill’s war stories. We would have a drink in the local pub, and Aunt Olive always served up a lovely old-fashioned tea when we got back. It was a nice gentle courtship with very few problems, and it was only on the odd occasion I would catch myself thinking “am I doing the right thing?”

Sue, Bob and Peggy c1958

I left school as soon as I could and got a job as an auxiliary nurse at Wimble Hill Hospital, Farnham. I would cycle off early in the mornings and head towards Farnham, in the spring the blossom was lovely and the views from the top road are well worth seeing. I loved the work, although it was exhausting and often quite upsetting. The patients all had what we now call senile dementia or Alzheimer's, but in those days it was all classed as “mental illness.”

Wimble Hill Hospital (Sue in centre)

The hospital had a large day room and bathrooms downstairs with two wards upstairs. The patients used to spend all day sitting in the day room with very little to do and very few visitors. One day I decided to play a tune on the old piano that sat in the corner and within minutes most of the patients were singing along. Some of the other nurses were annoyed, but the Sister was pleased and from then on it became a regular part of the day. Life was not easy for patients or staff in those days. I spent many hours helping to lift patients into the bath and into bed. One of the warnings we were given was that we must never enter the night dormitory on our own. But one evening I heard a patient crying and thought I would slip up and make sure she was all right – big mistake. I looked through the glass at the top of the door and as everyone seemed to be in bed I let myself in. Next minute a little old lady had a pair of stockings tight around my neck trying to strangle me, it was a good job I was young and strong and could push her away. I got into all sorts of bother over it and was given the job of cleaning patient denture's night and morning for weeks! I must have been good at my job though because  the Sister on my ward wanted me to do my nurse's training in Basingstoke, but  by now things were pretty serious with Bob and there was no way I was going to move into nurse's accommodation and risk seeing less of him…

 Sue (front row centre) and colleagues Wimble Hill hospital

Memories of Susan Poulter nee Flitney; Sue is my older sister (although she looks younger!)

Previous instalments here, here, here, here and here