Guest Post - My Sister Remembers - The End - For Now!

A guest post by my sister Sue Poulter. See previous post here

I went to the pre-natal clinic in Hartley Wintney where I met other mums-to-be and at last made some friends. One particular friend, Doreen, lived on the side of the common in Hartley Wintney, we visited each other most days for a cup of tea and a chat, and I began to feel less cut off. The trouble was I was soon too big to get behind the wheel of a car, and it was some months after Paula Jane was born that I was brave enough to start driving again. We had an old wooden garage with no floor just two planks to park on. Bob found it easy but the first time I tried to get the car out I ran it off the planks – you can guess how popular I was!

Paula Jane was born on the 9th October 1966, and “Auntie” Pauline came to look after us.  It was an easy birth, and I was allowed home after 24 hours. Paula was a beautiful bonny baby, and it was lovely to get home so soon.  Pauline was wonderful she took the children out and managed very well with James, considering he screamed all night every night. She was so patient with him and played with him for hours on end while I looked after Paula and entertained all the family who came to view the fourth member of the Wood football team. Mum and dad were horrified when they heard I was pregnant again, but once they saw Paula they were as charmed by her as everyone else was. After Pauline went home Bob dealt with James in a very different way. First night James screamed and screamed and Bob and I both tried to pacify him. Well, it didn't work, but the short sharp slap across his bottom certainly did!

James continued to be a problem. He didn't want to eat, he didn't want to walk, and everything else was a battle. Paula, on the other hand, and thank goodness, was as placid as Michael and had a very sunny disposition. Times were hard and we really did have to survive on the bare essentials. I regret I have so few photos of James and Paula as babies – simply because it was too expensive to buy films and pay to get them developed. I had a photo of all four of them taken together at Hartley Wintney, but it was months before we could afford to go and collect it.

A day out at Frensham Pond

At least now that I could drive I could take all the children out in the summer. By this time we had swapped the van for a little car. I used to collect mum, and the six of us would go for a picnic at Frensham Pond or to the coast. Life was always a bit of a battle with four children and very little money, but we soldiered on. I was envious of Bob because he remembered lovely little stories about the kids, but I could only remember the nappies, tantrums and hard times without money. When the children were older, I used to ask Bob to tell me all the things they had said and done as youngsters as I felt I had missed so much.

Doreen always said she had no idea how James managed to stay alive as he drove everyone to distraction. He was a lovely looking lad with big blue eyes and curly blond hair, but knew exactly how to wind people up. He would sit in his high chair and spit his dinner everywhere, and he never slept. He had boundless energy and wanted to play all night. For a while Bob and I tried taking it in turns to play with him until after midnight, but it made no difference so it was back to a slap across the buttocks!

Paula was baptised at a lovely little church in Winchfield. We had to get special permission from the Rural Dean because the church had been unused for a very long time. It was a really lovely occasion, and once again all the family and friends came back to our house for tea and cake.

St. Mary's Church Winchfield

Bob worked long hours, and so I often went to Well to visit mum and dad where we knew we would get a very good tea. One afternoon as I was about to drive away the driver’s seat sunk through the floor of the car.  Dad gave me a tin lid to put under it to stop me ending up on the road while I drove home.

At about this time the kids decided they really wanted a pet, so we got a white cat and ended up naming her “Mum Cat” because like me, she kept getting pregnant. We let her keep one kitten “Ginger” and they were both with us for many years. All the other kittens were taken to the pet shop in Victoria Road, Aldershot until we saved up enough money to get Mum Cat “done”.

The children with "Mum Cat" left to right; Michael, James, Jackie (at back) and Paula.

Jackie was five years old when we were at Taplin’s Farm, and a decision had to be made about her education. She was very highly strung and had lots of habits like folding and unfolding blankets and rocking backwards and forwards for hours on end. She was always happy and knew lots of nursery rhymes and poems. It was decided she would start school at Hartley Wintney Infants on a part-time basis.  It was an absolute disaster. She was completely lost and panicky because I wasn’t there. In those days teachers didn’t get any extra help for children with (what we now call) learning difficulties. The third day was the hardest of all for Jackie; she panicked and in trying to get away bumped into and knocked over some children in the playground. When I arrived to collect her at the end of the day I was met by some of the parents who were furious at the behaviour of my “awful child”. The Head Mistress more or less told me not to darken her door again and went on to say, “there are special places for children like that”. I remember walking home with the children and crying my eyes out wondering what would happen next.

Well, what happened was she went to Compton Diagnostic Unit near Winchester and lived and was educated there until she was nine years old. She came home for weekends and holidays, and we visited her at school.  It really was a lovely place, and she was very happy there, things seemed to improve, and she didn't have as many seizures for a while. She enjoyed her lessons and liked the teachers, and we began to hope for better things.    

In the meantime, life was becoming more difficult for Bob at Taplin’s Farm. His boss became increasingly demanding and often did strange things. In the middle of one harvest, when the weather was beautiful, he called all the men out of the fields and Bob out of the milking parlour and insisted they spend the day cutting down stinging nettles.  He would not allow them to stop for a cup of tea or lunch, and the cows didn’t get milked until after 9 pm that night.  His wife tried to intervene, but he would have none of it and told her to get indoors and mind her own business.   Bob stuck it out for three more years before deciding it was time to start looking around again. It was only later we learnt his boss had been ill for many years and eventually died from a brain haemorrhage.        

Our next move was to Northbrook Farm just outside Bentley. Bob was taken on as Herd Manager, a job he came to love. Our new home was a Gothic style semi-detached three bedroomed house. Two of the bedrooms were upstairs, and the third which the boys shared was down. Bob worked from 4.30 am until 11.30 am and then had two and a half hours for his lunch break and went back for afternoon milking and any other jobs connected with the cattle. He finished work when he could but with animals that could be at any time of the night. He looked after a herd of Friesian cattle and was responsible for keeping the books and increasing the milk yield.

Bob and cows at Northbrook Farm

I became friends with the house keeper and her daughter at Northbrook House. They lived in a really nice flat above the stable block; you can just see it in the following picture (below the clock tower). They had a pretty walled garden, and it was lovely to visit them and sit there with a cup of tea in the summer. It was such a treat to have nice people to visit and to visit me. 

Northbrook House

Money was not so tight now as I had a cleaning job, and Bob was getting a regular bonus on his milk production, so we were able to buy a better car. We started entertaining a little in the evenings. I would cook a nice dinner, and we had the occasional bottle of wine. Life was not all honey. It was still hard work with the children and even more so when Jackie came home for the school holidays.  She contracted German measles whilst at school and was really very ill. Her seizures got worse and the drugs no longer controlled them. Sometimes,  she would have up to ten seizures in one day.  

By now, both Michael and James were at school, and Jackie had moved to Lingfield Hospital School (now the National Centre for Epilepsy) in Surrey.  It was a very large school. She lived in one of a row of houses with approximately eight pupils plus staff.  It was like a village with its own very good school, hospital, church, restaurant and various other facilities. It was a much longer journey for us, and I often had to do the drive on a Sunday as Bob would be working. It was now time to change the car again so we bought an Austin Cambridge, which was much larger. The kids and I would go off on the journey to Lingfield, which was always a bit of an adventure. Once there we collected Jackie and off we would go to find a café for a cup of tea. I remember once we set off and got stuck in floods and had to get someone with a tractor to pull us out and dry the plugs before we could set off again. I was a bit nervous after that and used to stay around Lingfield more.  

Jackie, Michael and James at Northbrook

After we had been at Northbrook for a few years the farm manager and his family moved, and we were offered their old house. Once again, it was in the Gothic style with a very nice front garden with roses and clematis climbing over the walls and the porch.  I knew the house very well having cleaned it for a few years and was excited to move in.  It had a large kitchen with a walk in larder, a downstairs toilet and a store cupboard. After we moved in we discovered the larder flooded after heavy rain and if we had snow we had to shovel it out of the loft! We had a dining room and a large lounge, three bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. Our new home was just behind our old one so on moving day we put the furniture on a tractor and trailer and shifted it about a hundred yards.  We had a garage with room for Guinea-pig cages and a shed for the dog to live in when we were out, and another shed for chickens. We bought the chickens with the idea that we would have eggs and when they stopped laying we would eat them - some hope! The chicken laid very few eggs and were all given proper burials in the woods when they died of old age!  We wanted a bigger vegetable garden and the owner of the farm said we could have part of the field behind the house. Once we cleared it of stones (really good work for the kids!) we could grow everything we needed, including fruit bushes and trees and always had plenty to share around with others on the farm and our relatives.

The rest of my story is as yet unwritten. I have it in mind to continue with it, but it may have to wait for a year or two as my life is still as hectic as ever. That’s all for now, Sue Poulter nee Flitney  

Guest Post - My Sister Remembers - Part Nine

A guest post by my sister Sue Poulter. See previous post here

Part of the deal at Wyck was that I had to work on the farm. One of my first jobs was helping the other women cut strings to use for training the hops. It was winter time and very cold, so I always put a hot-water bottle in the pram with Jackie, but it was hard to keep her warm and impossible to keep myself warm. When the snow came I asked the farm manager if we could have some heating in the barn, but his answer was a resounding no. The snow was so bad I had to pull the pram through snowdrifts to get to the barn. All the other women seemed happy to put up with it, but I downed tools one particularly bad day and said, “No heat, no work” and walked out. The other women chased after me and said that Bob would lose his job, but I won the day, and we had a heater installed in the barn soon after. It didn't make much difference though and the snow lasted until after Easter.

Sue and Jackie at Wyck

Once Bob started working in the hop gardens all his clothes and the house smelt of hops which I hated.  Following harassment from the farm manager, who thought I was ungrateful and should remember I was living in a tied cottage, Bob decided it was time to look for another job.  Mum and dad felt sorry for us, and dad asked Bob if he would like to become his Herdsman at Well Manor Farm.  We thought this would be fine, but it doesn't pay to live next door to your parents and certainly not to work for your father-in-law. Dad was not the easiest of people to work with and didn't have much patience with Bob. The hours were long, and the pay was poor and Bob ended up getting part time gardening work on his one day off a week. The house we lived in was very cold, and we only had a fire with a back boiler for heating the water, and coal was so expensive we had to sell some of our belongings to pay for it.  I loved the garden though and grew all our own vegetables. I remember a visit from granny who seeing me digging up potatoes gave Bob a really hard time, but he was working all hours and was always exhausted.

Bob and Jackie in the garden at Well

Mum and dad seemed to be fairly comfortably off at this time so when the grocery van came from Bentley Stores mum would buy loads of vegetables, fruit and "best ham" whilst Bob and I could only afford perhaps a loaf of bread. Funny when a mother seems to take delight in having more than her children.  I remember on one occasion she bought a new rug for the kitchen and asked if I wanted the old one. I was really pleased as we didn't have one, but when she brought it round she asked me to pay for it. I paid up but could have done with the money to put towards the outstanding electricity and other bills.

The Well at Well

The village had not changed since I was a teenager. There was an old water well in the middle, which I assume gave the place its name, and one pub called The Chequers, there were no buses and because Bob didn't drink there was nothing to do in the village. Jackie was a very bright baby. She read simple words and remembered every song and nursery rhyme we taught her, and of course I had plenty of time to spend with her. The highlight of my year was to go next door to watch the Royal Variety Performance on mum and dad’s television. I would wash, change and put my make-up on, as though I was going somewhere special. I started driving lessons as Bob thought it would be good for me to get out and about. The lessons had to stop when I found I was pregnant again and there was no chance of any spare money. This time the doctor kept more of an eye on me because of the problems when I was pregnant with Jackie. We couldn't afford all the food he suggested, but we had plenty of fresh vegetables and salad in the garden, so I lived on that. Probably the reason I regained my figure so quickly after the new baby was born.

Mum in the garden with Michael

Michael was born in the February of 1964 and Mum Wood looked after Jackie while I was in the hospital. His was a more straightforward birth, and he was a lovely placid baby with a mop of black hair. Everyone said he looked like a member of The Beatles, who were all the rage at the time. I was in the hospital for ten days and really looking forward to getting home to Jackie but when I did she had forgotten me and bonded with Mum Wood.  It was really upsetting but it only took a few days for her to get used to me again. Thank goodness Michael was such a good baby as not long after he was born Jackie suddenly became ill. She was two years old that summer, and it was then that she started screaming at night while rocking backwards and forwards and hitting her head against the wall. It was very distressing and nothing we did helped. The doctor suggested giving her junior aspirin, which also didn't help but she seemed better after a week or two and so with much relief we put it down to a virus. 

We managed to scrape up enough money for me to start my driving lessons again, and luckily I passed the test at my first attempt. We didn't know it at the time, but this was to prove a Godsend. 

It was a short while later that Bob began to have health problems. During the war, when he was six or seven, he was run over by a tank at the top of Worldham Hill (probably playing “chicken”or some such game) and spent many months in hospitals undergoing plastic surgery to his arm. Now all these years later a growth appeared on his arm. The doctor decided the growth would have to be removed and although the operation was a success, it made us appreciate each other more and reminded us just how short life can be. Bob always wore long-sleeved shirts even in the summer months but after more plastic surgery, he was happy to have his arm on show.  Jackie had continued to be a concern and on one of the doctor's visits to Bob, I asked him to take a look at her.  She had put on a lot of weight, and her face was often flushed. I thought it might be indigestion, but the doctor felt it could be epilepsy. My dad said it would be best to forget about it as she would be fine when she got older. Not an easy thing to do when you are worried about so many things.

Michael

I found out I was pregnant again when Michael was eight months old. I must say I wasn't very pleased as I felt two children were enough. Bob, however, was over the moon saying he would get his football team yet! As I've said previously Michael was a lovely baby, very easy to feed and always happy to sleep. He was baptised at Long Sutton Church on a very warm day when I was already seven months pregnant. After the service, all the family and friends came back to our house for tea. It was a nice day, but I was quite pleased when everyone went home.  When I went into labour with James Matthew in July 1965, Jacqueline and Michael went to stay with their Auntie Pat and Uncle Mike in Alton, where they had a lovely time playing with their cousins. I think coming home to a crying baby must have been a bit of a shock for them. Although they had a lovely time in Alton it was a shame they could not stay at home with Grandma and Granddad Flitney living next door, but they made it quite clear that as I was having the children it was my responsibility to find someone to look after them as they were not going to!

Sue holding Michael and mum holding hands with Jackie

Not long after James was born Bob started getting attention from a very attractive young lady in the village. Her car always (conveniently for her) broke down outside our house when Bob was at home for lunch. He would leave his lunch and go out to check she and her car were all right. After a few months of this I went to see her and told her just what I would do if she didn't leave him alone.  I can be quite a scary person when angry, and she backed off. I felt almost sorry for Bob as I’m sure he was quite innocent as to what she was up to, but I was having none of it.  Soon after this he decided it was time for a move, especially as relations between him and dad were becoming very strained.

After a few interviews he secured a job at Taplins Farm, between Hartley Wintney and Winchfield. The farm has now gone the way of many others and is an Industrial Estate. But when we lived there it was a rural area with beautiful views. We had a detached house with a conservatory on the side, and a lovely playroom for the children. When we first moved in the children had some bad tummy upsets and Michael often had sore throats and had to have his tonsils removed. Jackie also became unwell again and began to have “vacant” spells. The doctor suggested we take her to see a paediatrician in Reading. Bob couldn't get time off for the appointment so I drove myself and Jackie there. The consultant was most unsympathetic and after carrying out some tests said, “Well you know Jacqueline was starved of oxygen at birth and is brain damaged, which has resulted in Epilepsy." He started her on a course of anticonvulsant drugs and told me to come back in three months.  I was absolutely astounded, as although we had both had a bad time during her birth, not one person had mentioned her being starved of oxygen. The consultant assumed I knew all about it, but things were so very different in those days, and the patient was seldom told the complete story.  Now it was up to me to drive home from Reading and break the news to Bob...

To be continued 

Guest Post – My Sister Remembers – Part Eight

Bob and I began our married life at Number 5, Blanket Street, East Worldham, near Alton in Hampshire.  A beautiful old thatched house, which we rented from Gales Brewery, very picturesque, but with no running water and a lavi down the back garden. The front garden was surrounded by a stone wall with a little wooden gate in the middle. Going through the front door you entered a nice sized lounge with a huge inglenook fireplace and a large understairs cupboard where we found a lovely copper warming pan. Off the lounge was a small dining room. The stairs went up from the lounge to one large bedroom and one small one directly off that. All the walls and ceilings had large black beams, which I loved. I spent many happy hours making curtains for the pretty windows and making the house look as cosy as I could. At the back of the house was the scullery, which was just a room with a flagstone floor and a gas cooker. Someone gave us a kitchen cabinet with a drop-down front which we used as a work surface, it was also handy for storing food and china. It was at about this time Bob had a win on the football pools. I'm not sure of the actual amount he won, but I think it was about £180, which was a lot of money in 1961. We went to The Ideal Home Exhibition in London and bought new lino for the lounge, dining room and bedroom, a bedroom suite, a spin dryer and a radio – what luxury.   

Left to right; Marian, Pat Wood holding Simon and Hartie Wood.

There was an elderly gentleman living next door, a real character with a house full of treasures.  He gave us some small trinkets to help our home look lived in. He also gave me a carpet beater which I would use to give the rugs a good old smacking, a wonderful thing to do when I ran out of humour. The Blacksmith shop/forge was on the right of our house and Bob’s mum and dad lived in the house next to that. Behind their house was a yard with a washhouse in a block. It might sound romantic, but you should try doing your washing in the winter. The outside tap always froze up and I remember once boiling the last of the bucket of water to try to thaw it out. Bob didn't worry too much about it preferring to leave me to get on with it.  It's great when you are young and in love but I certainly wouldn't be happy doing it now!

The outside of the house has changed little over the years other than half the front garden has been taken for parking and the thatch that was old and black has been replaced. It is now a modern detached house with running water and bathrooms, how I wish I could afford to buy it, but at least I can say, “I lived there”.

The house as it looks now.

I adopted lots of cats at Blanket Street. They came from the farm but much preferred living with us. When the farmer found out where they were he wanted them back so Bob bought me a lovely little black-and-white kitten which we called Ally Cat.  I loved him to bits, but he was only a few months old when he got run over by a car, and I decided I wouldn't have any more cats.

Ally Cat at the front of the house

Not long after that we rescued a dog. He was living in a coal bunker at the back of the Three Horse Shoes Pub, and the landlord really didn't  want him. The poor thing barked and whined day and night and in the end we asked the landlord if we could have him, but he insisted we pay for him.  We scraped the money together and took this poor one-year-old bedraggled pedigree Golden Labrador, called Worldham Honey home. We renamed him Shandy after his early days in the pub. He lived with us for many years and died when we were living at Northbrook Farm, but he never recovered from his first year living in the dark. The first time I went out and left him at Blanket Street he chewed up all the cushions and ruined Bob’s model aircraft. He also stole food, even though we fed him well twice a day.  He once stole an egg and bacon pie I had just taken out of the oven, I put it on the pull-down flap of the cabinet, it must have been very hot when he dragged it down and ate it. If we let him off the lead he would run away and often be gone overnight. It was at about this time he went back to howling at night, and that was awful. We took him on the train to a dog show in Farnham, and he was as good as gold but one of the judges said his legs were too long to be a good show dog and if we wanted to stop him howling we should let him become a breed dog. Off he went a week or so later to spend the night with a lady dog, he came home the next day and was worse than ever, and it was something like five years later before he stopped howling at night. I am not sure how he lived so long!!

Thinking back I suppose I should have looked for work during those early months of our marriage, but I found it really hard just running the home.  Anyway, by June of the following year Jacqueline Denise was born. Jackie, as she became known when older, was named after her two Grandfathers – Jack and Denis. We knew a few months before she was due that she would be a breech baby. I went into Alton General Hospital where they tried to turn her, but it didn't work, and I was taken to Winchester Hospital by ambulance. It was hard for me as although the staff phoned Bob he was not able to leave work to be with me. Things were a lot different in those days and women just had to get on with it – no such thing as maternity leave for men back then. 

I was in hospital for three weeks before Jackie was born. It was a forceps delivery and I was not allowed to hold her for a few days and was quite unwell myself. When we took her home ten days later we were told she should be left in her cot as much as possible as she had had a difficult time. Mum and dad picked us up from Winchester hospital and Jackie was in her carrycot. Mum wanted to carry her indoors, but Bob said she should be left in her carrycot and at that mum got very annoyed and she and dad went home.  I didn't hear anything from them for weeks, and it was very hurtful. We didn't have a phone and mobiles were unheard of in those days so we didn't sort it out properly for ages. It was very difficult looking after Jackie in the old house, she was not an easy baby, and would not suck from a bottle and I didn't want to breast feed. She would cry and cry all night and I thought I would go mad. I also thought I was a really bad mum as she so got on my nerves and I had no help from anyone. Eventually, the local nurse suggested I put a needle through the teat of her bottle so that I could just pour the milk gently into her mouth and it did make life much better. 

Tony and Eva Flitney (Eva holding Jackie), Denis and Rene Flitney and Barbara at the front.

Jacqueline was baptised at St. Mary’s Church, East Worldham. Pam and Norman’s son, Andrew was born in August and so we had a double christening. It was another really lovely sunny day, and although we couldn't afford many new clothes, Bob bought me a blue and white check suit, which looked very smart for the occasion. I found a beautiful christening gown in an antique shop which fitted Jackie perfectly. 

St. Mary’s Church, East Worldham

Sue, Bob and Jackie

We realised it would be difficult to get through another winter at Blanket Street, and as we were unable to get a Council House Bob decided to look for a job with a cottage. He got a job on a hop farm at Wyck, which is a few miles from Alton and close to Binstead. We moved into a semi-detached house with an indoor toilet, bathroom, a lovely garden and gorgeous views over the Hanger, which spreads all the way to Selborne.  Summer time at Wyck was idyllic and Pat Wood, and Pam Kirk would often walk over with Simon and Andrew and the babies would crawl about in the garden. Mum Wood was a very good mum-in-law she always arrived with food parcels and sometimes the corned beef or bread and jam she gave us was the only food we had for the last few days of the week. She also spent a lot of time knitting clothes for the babies and Jackie always wore what she knitted. Money was so short then that a social life was out of the question, but long walks with Shandy always made me feel better. It must have been hard for Bob but he always seemed content with his life.

My 21st birthday was spent at Wyck. I didn't have a party but Pat and Mike came for a visit and gave me a gift of a round dressing table stool with a furry cover. I really loved it, and it was in constant use for more than thirty years. Mum and dad gave me a dressing table set which has only just fallen apart and mum and dad Wood gave me a pretty powder compact. Bob bought me my best present ever – a sewing machine, which was passed on to Paula when it was about thirty years old.

One really sad thing happened while we were living there. Jack Wood (Bob’s father) died; it was a difficult time for Hartie and all the family. He was unwell for a long time, and it’s thought some of the problems with his lungs originated from the First World War.  He was a Blacksmith all his working life and even shod horses during the war.  He was a very well respected person in East Worldham, and some of his work remains in the church to this day.

Some of the item's in East Worldham Church made by Jack Wood

To be continued...