A guest post by my sister Sue Poulter. See previous post here
Part of the deal at Wyck was that I had to work on the farm.
One of my first jobs was helping the other women cut strings to use for
training the hops. It was winter time and very cold, so I always put a
hot-water bottle in the pram with Jackie, but it was hard to keep her warm and
impossible to keep myself warm. When the snow came I asked the farm manager if
we could have some heating in the barn, but his answer was a resounding no. The
snow was so bad I had to pull the pram through snowdrifts to get to the barn.
All the other women seemed happy to put up with it, but I downed tools one
particularly bad day and said, “No heat, no work” and walked out. The other
women chased after me and said that Bob would lose his job, but I won the day,
and we had a heater installed in the barn soon after. It didn't make much
difference though and the snow lasted until after Easter.
Sue and Jackie at Wyck
Once Bob started working in the hop gardens all his clothes
and the house smelt of hops which I hated. Following harassment from
the farm manager, who thought I was ungrateful and should remember I was living
in a tied cottage, Bob decided it was time to look for another job. Mum
and dad felt sorry for us, and dad asked Bob if he would like to become his
Herdsman at Well Manor Farm. We thought this would be fine, but it
doesn't pay to live next door to your parents and certainly not to work for
your father-in-law. Dad was not the easiest of people to work with and didn't
have much patience with Bob. The hours were long, and the pay was poor and Bob
ended up getting part time gardening work on his one day off a week. The house
we lived in was very cold, and we only had a fire with a back boiler for
heating the water, and coal was so expensive we had to sell some of our belongings to pay for it. I loved the garden though and grew all our own
vegetables. I remember a visit from granny who
seeing me digging up potatoes gave Bob a really hard time, but he was working
all hours and was always exhausted.
Bob and Jackie in the garden at Well
Mum and dad seemed to be fairly comfortably off at this time
so when the grocery van came from Bentley Stores mum would buy loads of
vegetables, fruit and "best ham" whilst Bob and I could only afford
perhaps a loaf of bread. Funny when a mother seems to take delight in having
more than her children. I remember on one occasion she bought a new rug
for the kitchen and asked if I wanted the old one. I was really pleased as we
didn't have one, but when she brought it round she asked me to pay for it. I
paid up but could have done with the money to put towards the outstanding
electricity and other bills.
The Well at Well
The village had not changed since I was a
teenager. There was an old water well in the middle, which I assume gave the
place its name, and one pub called The Chequers, there were no buses and because
Bob didn't drink there was nothing to do in the village. Jackie was a very bright baby. She read
simple words and remembered every song and nursery rhyme we taught her, and of
course I had plenty of time to spend with her. The highlight of my year was to
go next door to watch the Royal Variety Performance on mum and dad’s
television. I would wash, change and put my make-up on, as though I was going
somewhere special. I started driving lessons as Bob thought it would be good
for me to get out and about. The lessons had to stop when I found I was
pregnant again and there was no chance of any spare money. This time the doctor
kept more of an eye on me because of the problems when I was pregnant with
Jackie. We couldn't afford all the food he suggested, but we had plenty of
fresh vegetables and salad in the garden, so I lived on that. Probably the
reason I regained my figure so quickly after the new baby was born.
Mum in the garden with Michael
Michael was born in the February of 1964 and Mum Wood looked
after Jackie while I was in the hospital. His was a more straightforward birth,
and he was a lovely placid baby with a mop of black hair. Everyone said he
looked like a member of The Beatles, who were all the rage at the time. I was
in the hospital for ten days and really looking forward to getting home to
Jackie but when I did she had forgotten me and bonded with Mum Wood. It
was really upsetting but it only took a few days for her to get used to me
again. Thank goodness Michael was such a good baby as not long after he was
born Jackie suddenly became ill. She was two years old that summer, and it was
then that she started screaming at night while rocking backwards and forwards and
hitting her head against the wall. It was very distressing and nothing we did
helped. The doctor suggested giving her junior aspirin, which also didn't help
but she seemed better after a week or two and so with much relief we put it
down to a virus.
We managed to scrape up enough money for me to start my
driving lessons again, and luckily I passed the test at my first attempt. We
didn't know it at the time, but this was to prove a Godsend.
It was a short while later that Bob began to have health
problems. During the war, when he was six or seven, he was run over by a tank at
the top of Worldham Hill (probably playing “chicken”or some such game) and
spent many months in hospitals undergoing plastic surgery to his arm. Now all these years later a growth appeared on
his arm. The doctor decided the growth would have to be removed
and although the operation was a success, it made us appreciate each other more
and reminded us just how short life can be. Bob always wore long-sleeved shirts
even in the summer months but after more plastic surgery, he was happy to have
his arm on show. Jackie had continued to be a concern and on one of the
doctor's visits to Bob, I asked him to take a look at her. She had put on
a lot of weight, and her face was often flushed. I thought it might be
indigestion, but the doctor felt it could be epilepsy. My dad said it would be
best to forget about it as she would be fine when she got older. Not an easy
thing to do when you are worried about so many things.
I found out I was pregnant again when Michael was eight
months old. I must say I wasn't very pleased as I felt two children were
enough. Bob, however, was over the moon saying he would get his football team
yet! As I've said previously Michael was a lovely baby, very easy to feed and
always happy to sleep. He was baptised at Long Sutton Church on a very warm day
when I was already seven months pregnant. After the service, all the family and
friends came back to our house for tea. It was a nice day, but I was quite
pleased when everyone went home. When I went into labour with James
Matthew in July 1965, Jacqueline and Michael went to stay with their Auntie Pat
and Uncle Mike in Alton, where they had a lovely time playing with their
cousins. I think coming home to a crying baby must have been a bit of a shock
for them. Although they had a lovely time in Alton it was a shame they could
not stay at home with Grandma and Granddad Flitney living next door, but they
made it quite clear that as I was having the children it was my responsibility
to find someone to look after them as they were not going to!
Not long after James was born Bob started getting attention
from a very attractive young lady in the village. Her car always (conveniently
for her) broke down outside our house when Bob was at home for lunch. He would
leave his lunch and go out to check she and her car were all right. After a few
months of this I went to see her and told her just what I would do if she
didn't leave him alone. I can be quite a scary person when angry, and she
backed off. I felt almost sorry for Bob as I’m sure he was quite innocent as to
what she was up to, but I was having none of it. Soon after this he
decided it was time for a move, especially as relations between him and dad
were becoming very strained.
After a few interviews he secured a job at Taplins Farm,
between Hartley Wintney and Winchfield. The farm has now gone the way of many
others and is an Industrial Estate. But when we lived there it was a rural area
with beautiful views. We had a detached house with a conservatory on the side,
and a lovely playroom for the children. When we first moved in the children had
some bad tummy upsets and Michael often had sore throats and had to have his
tonsils removed. Jackie also became unwell again and began to have “vacant”
spells. The doctor suggested we take her to see a paediatrician in Reading. Bob couldn't get time off for the appointment so I drove myself and Jackie there.
The consultant was most unsympathetic and after carrying out some tests said,
“Well you know Jacqueline was starved of oxygen at birth and is brain damaged,
which has resulted in Epilepsy." He started her on a course of
anticonvulsant drugs and told me to come back in three months. I was
absolutely astounded, as although we had both had a bad time during her birth,
not one person had mentioned her being starved of oxygen. The consultant
assumed I knew all about it, but things were so very different in those days,
and the patient was seldom told the complete story. Now it was up to me
to drive home from Reading and break the news to Bob...
To be continued
Hello Sue,
ReplyDeleteAt times reading that I thought 'I can't finish this'. My! what a time you had and such awful treatment from, not only the doctors, but your parents too. I am shocked about them as they were always so generous and kind whenever I visited.
What courage you must have to have faced such trials.
Thank you John. I think the attitude was "You made your bed, etc.," I am glad they were generous and kind to you. Right up until my dad died he would always insist I made a mistake marrying Bob and mum never told me she loved me until a couple of hours before she died. I just think I was a disappointment to them. Life can be hard but it just makes us stronger.
DeleteThat is so sad Sue, but I just think times were different back then. We are all so much better at saying “I love you” but mum and dad were from a different generation. What a shame we can’t go back and make it right.
ReplyDeletePS you know I love you to bits don’t you??
Thank you sister and I love you too. Yes as you say things were so different and attitudes were quite Victorian in some ways way back then. It makes me smile now when I see young people greeting each other in the street with a hug. Mind you it could be why everyone seems to have colds now-a-days!!
DeleteWhat a beautiful story of human spirit. I hope you ladies attempt to compile these blog posts into a book at some point.
ReplyDeleteHi Brandy, we haven’t really thought that far ahead, but it’s sweet of you to say. The problem is neither of us are particularly good at writing although we do feel we have a story to tell.
DeleteHi Brandy, Just wish I was clever enough! Thank you for your kind comment.
DeleteSue